In The Trenches

Club Monaco trench coat, Club Monaco faux leather shorts, Zara tank, Guess shoes, Chanel bag

I've somehow mysteriously developed a new habit. I say habit because to me, if I do something or if something happens to me at least three times I consider that a habit. It started three nights ago. I brush my teeth, then I make myself comfortable on the couch, I watch my nightly smut tv with peppermint ice cream,  I then switch from smut tv to a movie on a premium cable channel, I fall asleep on the couch...and then I wake up to soft-core porn!! I don't know how or why I always end up on the Skinamax channel and soft-core porn! At first, it's a little jarring to wake up to soft-core porn, but then you just get really disappointed. The performers have these bored and sullen faces against some sort of pool house backdrop and cheesy porn music. Like, even they're bored with this whole sex charade. Like, they know if they were really good, they would be doing hard-core porn with a better payload (pun intended). I mean, if I'm going to be jarred awake by sex, I at least want a cheap thrill from it. But no, I just end up going to bed feeling cheap and a little dirty--just like the movie. I better get used to it. For some reason, I apparently and involuntarily love waking up to soft-core porn. Here's to tonight's performance being more energetic. Ugh, bad habits, die hard. 

Rue Gembon, Cartier, David Yurman and my own rings

White on White

Zara sweater,  Naive Nation skirt, Chloe shoes, Ray-Ban sunglasses

To keep with last week's Micro-Mini Skirt Monday, I'm doing it again with this leg-and-almost-butt-baring outfit. Since my butt is hanging out, I did cover-up my upper half with a big sweater. Check out that proportion control. 

Svelte Metals and Vita Fede bracelets, Cartier, Vita Fede, Brandy Pham and Baublebar rings, Michele watch

Who Wears Short Shorts

Naive Nation lace top, Club Monaco shorts, Pour La Victoire shoes, Ray-Ban sunglasses, Louis Vuitton bag

Maybe this is no secret, but when you wear short shorts your legs look really good. And then when you pair short shorts with huge heels, they look even better. If after that you pair your short shorts and heels with a see-through lace top, you've reached the pinnacle of how good your legs will be, because they look like they're coming up to your neck. I feel like I've been reading The Hoochie's Guide To Fashion and I can't put it down! Lucite heels, here I come?

Louis Vuitton bag, Maison Martin Margiela and Cartier rings, Hermes, Vita Fede and Jules Smith bracelets

Sneaks and Skirts

Zara skirt and top, New Balance sneakers, Felix Rey bag, Ray-Ban sunglasses

Having an Asian mom is one of my greatest blessings, because they are absolutely hilarious. I even feel sorry for people who don't have Asian moms, because if you don't have one, then who the heck is giving you the straight ugly truth about anything? For example, in high school they had these "safe sex" seminars where they would be all "hey you're having sex? That's cool. Just make sure you're using condoms or birth control, ok?" As if carrying around a tiny raw egg for a week deterred anyone from having sex. My mom on the other hand, told me she was going to give it to me straight. She told me that if I had sex, I would get pregnant at 16 and then my entire life would be over because I'd be married to the idiot that got me pregnant and living with my parents forever and I'd have a "used up and dying body (lol)." That's some powerful words. But she's like that with everything, big or small. "Oh, no make-up today? Ew. Go put on some make-up" or "Your two front teeth are going buck" or "Sneakers with skirts? That's ugly... really not cute." And that's pretty much what I heard this whole weekend. I told her she was rude, but she says she's the only one that's really got my back. It's true. Without her, I could be out there make-up less, with buck teeth, wearing sneakers with skirts looking like a hot mess. That's what I call a mother's love. 

Rue Gembon and my own rings, Felix Rey bag, Hermes bracelet