I'm usually not a fan of the lower priced designer collaborations. Other than the Missoni for Target collaboration, which was amazing because how can you go wrong with zig-zags? But, most of the time the designer collaborations are always what they seem to be: cheaper, uglier, and only slightly reminiscent versions of the designer's awesome REAL collection. For example, how can we forget Maison Martin Margiela for H&M's collection, which was quite obviously designed exclusively for crazy performance artists and street protesters. However, Prabal Gurung's collection for Target which launched on February 10, 2013 nationwide and online is the absolute coolest. Every piece in the collection is cool, edgy and perfect for the urban street gal. The prices are happy and cheap, so most likely it's all sold out by now. You can probably get it on ebay for 10x the Target price; in which case it's the same price as a piece from the regular Prabal Gurung collection but will only last you two wears because, lets face it, it's still Target clothes. But to those of you who got to bask in the glow of cheap Prabal Gurung for those 30 beautiful minutes before it sold out, congratulations, you definitely win for being best dressed in Target clothes.
I would be a liar if I said that being featured in Street Style was a day that I had not waited for and prepared for all my life; because it was. Every girl who waits every month to get their fashion magazines have fingered through those pages thinking "I look better than that bitch--and I wish someone would take my picture to prove it!" Well it happened to me and it was glorious. However, as validating as it was, the feature has also given me newfound fashion confidence. Or should I say over-confidence that is sending me down a rabbit hole of "this is totally gross for most people, but since I was in Street Style, I can get away with it" type of fashion decisions. Take for example these Ash wedge sneakers. Yes, they are definitely gross for most people, especially the two girls that were watching me try them on at Bloomies. When one of the girls whispered to the other that she wished she looked as cool as I did in these wedge sneakers, I knew I had no choice. I promptly went to the register and paid for my new wedge sneakers because I'll be damned if I let a woman trying on UGG mules fashion shame me. I was in Street Style for god sakes.
I paired my Ash wedge sneakers with a white t-shirt, dark skinny jeans and a black coat or blazer. If I discover a second outfit that I can wear these with, I'll let you know.
Isn't that cute? It's a little Asian Geisha Christmas tree ornament! Oh awesome, it comes in a set of 6. Now my Asian people doing Asian stuff Christmas tree will be perfect! Wait, what? Did I miss "Asians as Novelty Items Day?" When the did this happen? When did an actual race become cute enough to be hung on Christmas trees everywhere? Asians aren't Christmasy! So many questions and so many people who seem to act like this is normal. It's freaking me out, especially since now that I have checked the website, this Geisha is sold out! You can't even "add to wait list" anymore. That means that hundreds of households out there are hanging her on their trees and decorating their homes with Geishas right now. Doesn't that naturally make you wonder what else could be hanging on their tree that could possibly match with this? An Asian woman doing nails? An Asian woman hanging clothes on a dry cleaning machine? An Asian woman sewing Nike shoes? The list is terrifyingly endless. However, I recognize that I may be jumping to conclusions and damning all these people buying Geishas for Christmas way too quickly. These people could totally have many other different types of ornaments on their trees, like: Hispanics doing offensive things, African Americans doing offensive things, or even white people doing offensive things. You truly can't know the limits of a person who thinks Geishas and Santa Claus match.
It's no big secret that we live in a male dominated world. As is their birthright, men love taking all our good stuff--jobs, money, virginity. They can even have their penises removed to have a working female vag installed. However, there are certain things that should be sacred only to women. Babies, the color pink, and up to this point, I thought leggings. Men are wearing leggings and turning them into meggings! I don't even really know what there is to say about meggings other than it makes no sense. It's senseless! I mean, it already makes me slightly uncomfortable watching male ballerinas in tights dancing around with their bulges hanging out like its no big deal. Now, guys are going to be brunching in their leggings out in public expecting us to swallow our eggs and pretend like skinny legs and giant crotches don't bother us? You guys have got some balls. So let's just state the obvious now. It's pretty apparent that Russell Brand and that Asian guy trying to look like a badass in leggings are wearing girl outfits. That's right Asian guy, you can stare at me all day long like that and you'll still be a guy in leggings. It just makes no sense. Leggings don't even have pockets, so where are they going to put their stuff? Is it even possible to wear leggings without a purse? Oh no, not purses too!
I would like to preface this post by saying that I love Kate Spade. And I don't think that she's only famous because she married David Spade's brother. Well, not anymore at least. But you have to admit, sometimes her stuff makes you go "Whaaa?" It's like ladies who lunch on acid. But what really gets me confused is why she chooses to design ONLY for Suri Cruise. That has to be the case. I mean, that is the only explanation for all the crazy Easter colors, bows and animal shaped stuff. Last season, I tried on a Kate Spade scarf where one of the ends was a stuffed animal head. Yup, she went there. I don't want to wear Pokemon around my neck. Cute--for Suri Cruise! Hello Kate Spade, I'm 30. Make something for me! To be frank, even Suri is about to grow out of that pink flamingo purse. Nobody over three feet tall should be able to carry that bag. She does however, make a mean wallet; she should definitely stay away from the scarves.
I received an email from Guess today promoting their "new" powersuit with a girl dressed in that: A crop top jacket and skintight white pants. I need a suit that looks like that like I need an STD. It makes me wonder where Guess thinks girls are going when they wear suits. In case Guess, you don't know, girls who wear suits are going to work. They are NOT going out to meet up with their homegirl, JWOWW. Guess also suggested that if I were to wear that suit, that I also buy those shoes made of fishnet stockings. To complete the look of course. Also to complete the look, "dolla" bills in my g-string.
The SF Marina may be one of the scariest fashion places I've ever been to. The guys wear madras shorts and turqoise polos with their collars popped! Yup, that happened. And then there are the girls. I could barely hold it together in the girl jungle of maxi dresses, baby blue pashminas and all things Lululemon. Plus everyone there is a dirty blonde that wears their aviator sunglasses on their heads. Why? I don't know. Seriously, it's scary. If you see a strange looking Asian chick with a bob haircut that's me. I'm there because I love Barney's Burgers. So to enjoy my Barney's burger I need a Marina outfit. I had a friend who attempted a Marina outfit once. She ended up giving up and getting a sweat outfit from Lululemon, which is now her only acceptable Marina outfit. I refuse to have a $400 sweat outfit be the only clothes I can wear to the Marina. I don't even work out that much. So the above outfit from Aqua is going to be my next Marina purchase. It's very pink, there are ruffles and there's a collar I can pop. I think that covers a lot of Marina requirements. And at $88 for the jacket and $88 for the dress, you can look douchey without paying douchey prices. We loves it.
Your eyes do not deceive you. They sell these. They sell them at a website called Forever Lazy. If you are so "forever lazy" that you have resorted to wearing a onesie, you should just end it. The only time human beings should be wearing onesies is when we weighed less than 10 lbs. If you can remember the last time you wore a onesie, you were too old to wear a onesie. From the front, the woman looks demented and the man is clearly a serial killer. And from the back, the back has a drop seat. A drop seat means that you can tear open the butt portion...so you can poop while still wearing your onesie! That my little dears, is not cute. Really not cute. It's not even novelty cute the way that adult women carry hello kitty purses novelty cute (which in all honesty isn't really cute either). If you want to recapture your youth, go play on the swings, go eat some gummy bears, or go do something else that does not make you look completely crazy and demented. Lets go back to a world where people wore Snuggies and Crocs when they completely gave up on life. Ah, The good ole days.
I love drapey sweaters. I love them so much that I own a multitude of drapey sweaters, and with each one I convince myself that they do not all look exactly the same. But, I have to tell you the truth, I don't know what to make of these extra-long drapey sweaters that claim they can be worn 3,645 ways. They confuse me, because, they never look like the examples shown--all cool and awesome. Somehow, I just end up looking like I'm wearing a really weird sweater that's so long I had to wrap it around my neck, which will eventually look and feels like it's choking me to death. But, to those people out there who can actually make this look work, this BCBG ensemble with the drapey sweater is really cute. Two possible looks are shown. One being the standard "choke" look, and the second is the very cute "bow in the back look", which if you decide to move will become the "it is impossible to keep this bow in the back and my sweater keeps coming off because I'm wearing it backwards" look. Good luck and enjoy!
It's that time again, when I call out JCrew for selling something unbelievably ugly for an unbelievably uglier price. Some of you may have grown tired of my attempts at single-handedly bringing down JCrew. But, I don't care, and I will continue my ridiculous crusade until JCrew stops charging $1,800.00 for dresses like the above. First of all this is a leather dress with sparkles all over it. Why in God's name any person would decide to bedazzle leather is beyond me. I mean, if it would be cheaper to just bedazzle regular cotton, lets go with that, because you've just sucked all the fun out of leather anyways. Second, the girl is wearing sandals with her $1,800.00 leather sparkle dress!! Come on! If' I'm wearing $1,800.00 worth of dress on me, I better not be wearing it with sandals to the freakin beach! To the JCrew designer, I challenge you. I challenge you to design a dress that is cute--cute and worthy of $1,800.00. This means that there cannot be thousands of pleats, rosettes, or ruffles and must be event appropriate. In other words, you can't charge $1,800.00 for a beach dress made of animal skin and plastic sparkles, because it's inappropriate and ugly. I understand everyone agrees with me, but nobody wants to stand with me because they can't give up those damn cardigans and gold flip-flops. Neither can I; I own both. But still, Down with JCrew!
When did it happen? When was the exact moment that Nicole Richie went from being a trashy, fat chick with crazy eyes to some crazy awesome fashionista who is now the inventor of Boho Chic. I think it's when she got thin and starting looking all strung out instead of Paris Hilton's fatter, trashier friend. Regardless, her House of Harlow line of jewelry is seriously cool. This Abalone Stations necklace and the peacock locket are amazing with any outfit dressed up or down. Just goes to show you what you can accomplish when you become thin. We loves it.
It. Has. Happened. The two best things in the entire world have come together: jeans and leggings! I don't know even know how we could have lived so long without jeggings. I mean the coolness of jeans with the comfort of leggings--simply amazing. Sure, many people wonder what the difference is between jeggings and skinny jeans, and that answer is quite simple: umm, jeggings are way tighter of course. Haven't you ever wished that your skinny jeans could be just a little tighter so that it could wrap your leg up like a little sausage? Well, dream no more, because it has happened. Go grab a pair and tell me that your legs do not look absolutely awesome after squeezing them into jeggings. Long live jeggings!
As we all know, love it or dread it, Valentine's Day is coming up. This means that idiot guys everywhere will be asking me or their girl source, what to buy their special gals. And because boys are stupid, they will not know that all they need to do is buy something--ANYTHING from Tiffany's to make his girl happy. But, if you guys or girls want to get something a little different than the typical Tiffany's floating heart this year (which I have received, and works like a charm, btw) than you should look at the new Rachel Roy/Estelle line of jewelry. This line features this amazing gold flower ring that fits over the full finger for some major hotness; and also this gold earcuff--which granted is a little weird, but is also edgy and pretty at the same time. Plus, the line is pretty affordable at $50-$100 for each item and is super exclusive since you can only buy these items on their facebook site until February 11, 2010. Everyone loves an elitist, so get it while it's hot!
Cross-body bags are suddenly all the rage. It's like, all of a sudden, everyone is "on the go" and can't even hold on to their purses, so they have to strap a bag all around their bodies. Personally, I'm not a fan, however, like so many things that are roach, cross-body bags are comfortable. Therefore, if I have embraced UGGs, I might as well have a comfortable bag that matches to maximize my comfy-ness. This Tory Burch fringe bag and this Marc Jacobs black cross-body bag says comfort, but they also TRY to be cute, which I appreciate. So at the very least you're just dying a slow fashion death, instead of a fast one.
I know that it doesn't look like it, but this is a dress. A huge, grungy, denim, patched-up dress from Topshop. I don't know what YOU think this says about fashion, but this tells ME that we are now embracing clothes people wear working at the gas station as "fashionable." No. Unacceptable. This "it's so ugly that it's cool" is seriously getting old because sometimes, "it's so ugly that it's ugly." Much like this dress from Topshop. And to top it off, you just need to shell out $125 to get it!! Really? Really Topshop? You're trying to pass this wretched, fat man's dirty shirt as rocker chic? And forcing us to pay more than the energy to dig it out of that man's garbage for it? In-credible; Topshop has some balls because I never thought that denim could insult me like that. But it does, because only a fashion idiot would wear this thinking they can pull it off. Trust me, you can't. Nobody can. The roachness of this dress is way too overwhelming. So let the denim shirtdress with its patches die a long and horrible death at one of those Earth Day festivals, where this shirt will eventually end up getting stolen by a bum.
If you like Boho, then you are going to love this new Louis Vuitton Artsy bag. With this amazing new bag, Louis Vuitton has transformed the typical ratty Urban Outfitters Boho chick, with her headbands and drapey shirts into a Boho hot chick who paid $1,400.00 on an LV. Sure, it goes against being Boho, but a girl can't live off of hemp and saddle bags forever. It's new, its huge, and it's hot!
Badgely Mischka clearly knows more than just glittery gowns for celebrities. They know shoes!! Being only a human, you probably can't afford to have a full-fledged red carpet Badgley Mischka gown, however, there's good news. Your feet can now experience Badgely Mischka amazingess. And on what better day to feel like a celebrity than on your wedding day with these "wow" shoes. The silk rosette heels are high enough to make you feel sexy, but demure enough not to make you look hoochie. The perfect combo--for shoes and for your man. For those who don't like the peep toe, there's the white satin heels with the side bow. A-dorable. Both pairs are $200, which is human-priced considering how amazing they are. So go get your wow on!
Fur is definitely making it's mark this season. Thanks to global warming, the earth's weather is all kinds of messed up, so winters are becoming even more bitterly cold. Which is why I am so obsessed with this Juicy Couture faux fur jacket. It's cute, there's ruffles, and the faux fur doesn't feel like it came from a mangled dead cat. Imagine this fur jacket, with dark skinny jeans and heels and your favorite Louis Vuitton bag. I know, I feel ritzy just imagining it. We loves it.
Recently, whilst mundanely shopping for jeans, I came across something curious--Raw Denim. It looks like normal denim, except, it's way weirder and takes a lot more work. Yes, I said "work". Work before you are actually able to wear your jeans out in public. The origins of raw denim, I assume, stem from the days when cowboys wore their jeans to wrangle animals, wallow in horse poop, and then sleep in these same jeans as if they were their second skin. Of course, back then, you were probably only allowed one pair of pants, so it WAS his second skin. Which is why it confuses me when a guy, living in a land of plenty, would ever consider buying raw denim because there's a lot of craziness involved. First, you have to buy them seven sizes larger for shrinkage. Second, you have to soak them in a bath of warm water for like two hours--while you're wearing them--so they will mold to your body!! After about 17 soaks and your legs are all dyed blue, you are to wear them every single day for six months without washing them. Then, by the grace of God, these jeans will hopefully fit, your legs will not have suffered any permanent damage from the dye, and will not have looked like a total douche for going through this ridiculous process when you could have just went two aisles down and picked up normal jeans...that are pre-shrunk, and pre-normal. Maybe it's a guy's way of feeling cool again like a cowboy. Except, cool without the wrangling, or the horses, or anything that makes cowboys cool. So really, you're just left with filthy roach jeans. Cool or just inconvenient? I think the answer is obvious, and it's not cool.
I always prided myself on never having to resort to writing the "Look for Less" article because I don't believe in the look for less. All who have attempted the "Look for Less" know that you can NEVER get the same cool look for less money. What you will actually be getting is the "Look That Is A Poor and Sad, Semi-Reminiscent of the More Amazing Expensive Look." Or the "Look For Cheap and Will Give You a Rash and Make Your Feet Bleed Because of All the Cheap Clothes That You Just Bought." I know, I have all those looks. By the same token, I am also loathe to be the girl to that writes the "Make Your Boring Old Clothes Look New Again" article; and yet here I am doing just that. My recent budget limitations has forced me to seriously find "looks for less". But, I discovered that instead of finding looks for less, I can update my already awesome wardrobe with some simple accessories. My current favorite accessory--brooches and pins! Just by pinning a brooch on the lapel of your blazer, t-shirt or dress, you can turn any ensemble into any look you want. My personal fave right now are these Elizabeth and James snake and arrow brooches for a Rock n Roll feel. For a more demure look, pin on your Grammy's Cameo brooch, or a big flower pin a la Carrie Bradshaw. Whatever your mood, you can find a pin to match it. Automatic ensemble update without having to wear some sad "look for less" and have people ask you, "are those the fake X?" Embarassing fashion moment 6576 averted. We loves it!