I want to be here, wearing this, right now.
Alright, I want to preface this by saying that this is not going to turn into a "mommy" blog or "the beauties of pregnancy" blog now. In fact, I actually have very little to say about pregnancy other than everything that you've heard about it is true; especially the sucky parts. But, we all get through it. I do, however, have a lot of thoughts on maternity wear and baby bags, and those thoughts are mostly "yuck". I know everyone is trying to make it all hip with all the side ruching for the belly and extra fabric and Rachel Zoe. But dear god, why is it the second a once young, hip and chic woman gets pregnant she automatically has to buy "mom tops" or "mom pants" or "mom dresses" that are all boxy and paisley and high-watered? Why is she forced to go from carrying her Celine luggage bag to carrying something called a Petunia Pickle Bottom in all patterns of ugly pink and florals? I get it, we need a thousand pockets to keep baby stuff, but I don't get why I have to be reduced to carrying something so ridiculously named and so incredibly vile looking. Can't it just be black with an organizer and a thousand pockets hidden inside? I hit rock bottom when I was shopping for a bathing suit at Nordstrom and the saleslady took me from the cute neon green bikini section to show me something called a "tankini". Ummm, no. Even though it sounds like a cocktail a 22 year old with MTV abs would order on Spring Break at Cabo Wabo, it is SO NOT. So, I've decided to just stuff myself into normal clothes and look like an inappropriate sausage. And there you have it, how I #stylethebump.
I first wanted to thank everyone that I know for pretending not to notice that my ass has grown so enormous in the last 28 weeks that it is looking pretty offensive falling out of my bikini bottom. This is all because I'm growing a huge Coconut in my stomach who will be making her appearance this July. Yes, it's very exciting. Yes, we know it's going to change everything. And yes, it is a "beautiful" process. Well, beautiful if you think vomiting, peeing in your pants when you sneeze, growing a double chin, stretch marks and not being able to breath while sleeping on your back is beautiful...which I kinda don't think it is. But what will be beautiful is the crazy Coconut that is about to hatch in just 12 more weeks! Stay tuned...
Every year my husband and I try to outdo our ridiculously lazy beach vacations by challenging ourselves with how much more lazy we can be and how little activities we participate in each time. In Cancun this year we bypassed all the 46 free activities that you get when you sign up for a $20 taxi cab ride at the airport and went straight to our rooms to take a nap. Then we got into our bathing suits for a dip in the hot tub and then a steak dinner. The rest of our days were spent doing pretty much the same thing; lounging around like beached whales at the pool while sipping iced Perrier's with lime. Zip lining? Nope. Swimming with dolphins? I don't need new friends. Parasailing? I can see the ocean just fine in my linen strewn cabana bed. Fishing? No, way; who will spray me down with Evian spritz if everyone is busy fishing? Thankfully, I never had to find out that answer.