I first wanted to thank everyone that I know for pretending not to notice that my ass has grown so enormous in the last 28 weeks that it is looking pretty offensive falling out of my bikini bottom. This is all because I'm growing a huge Coconut in my stomach who will be making her appearance this July. Yes, it's very exciting. Yes, we know it's going to change everything. And yes, it is a "beautiful" process. Well, beautiful if you think vomiting, peeing in your pants when you sneeze, growing a double chin, stretch marks and not being able to breath while sleeping on your back is beautiful...which I kinda don't think it is. But what will be beautiful is the crazy Coconut that is about to hatch in just 12 more weeks! Stay tuned...
Every year my husband and I try to outdo our ridiculously lazy beach vacations by challenging ourselves with how much more lazy we can be and how little activities we participate in each time. In Cancun this year we bypassed all the 46 free activities that you get when you sign up for a $20 taxi cab ride at the airport and went straight to our rooms to take a nap. Then we got into our bathing suits for a dip in the hot tub and then a steak dinner. The rest of our days were spent doing pretty much the same thing; lounging around like beached whales at the pool while sipping iced Perrier's with lime. Zip lining? Nope. Swimming with dolphins? I don't need new friends. Parasailing? I can see the ocean just fine in my linen strewn cabana bed. Fishing? No, way; who will spray me down with Evian spritz if everyone is busy fishing? Thankfully, I never had to find out that answer.
I have a rule where when Colin Firth says something, I listen. Not only because he's super hot, but because he's Mr. Darcy, and you ALWAYS listen to Mr. Darcy. So when Colin Firth tells me that a self-respecting man only wears "oxfords, not brogues" I listen. I listen until I see a pair of of silver platform creeper brogues. Then, I would have to think that Colin Firth probably didn't mean these brogues and that a self-respecting man would be crazy not to grab a pair of these from Zara and declare them absolutely amazing. Thanks Mr. Darcy, I knew you were a reasonable man.
My second favorite Monday night show to watch is The Bachelor (second to Vanderpump Rules, of course!). The entire time I was watching the finale, all I could think was how romantic it was that Chris was forced to pick Whitney even though he was actually in love with Becca but couldn't pick her because she essentially dumped him in the fantasy suite by saying that she did not love him and that there was no way in hell she would move to Arlington-The-Mall-Is-70-Miles-Away-And-The-Only-Place-To-Buy-Coffee-Is-From-A-Creepy-Guy-Brewing-It-In-His-Backyard-Every-Morning, USA. I love when love works out.