Isn't that cute? It's a little Asian Geisha Christmas tree ornament! Oh awesome, it comes in a set of 6. Now my Asian people doing Asian stuff Christmas tree will be perfect! Wait, what? Did I miss "Asians as Novelty Items Day?" When the did this happen? When did an actual race become cute enough to be hung on Christmas trees everywhere? Asians aren't Christmasy! So many questions and so many people who seem to act like this is normal. It's freaking me out, especially since now that I have checked the website, this Geisha is sold out! You can't even "add to wait list" anymore. That means that hundreds of households out there are hanging her on their trees and decorating their homes with Geishas right now. Doesn't that naturally make you wonder what else could be hanging on their tree that could possibly match with this? An Asian woman doing nails? An Asian woman hanging clothes on a dry cleaning machine? An Asian woman sewing Nike shoes? The list is terrifyingly endless. However, I recognize that I may be jumping to conclusions and damning all these people buying Geishas for Christmas way too quickly. These people could totally have many other different types of ornaments on their trees, like: Hispanics doing offensive things, African Americans doing offensive things, or even white people doing offensive things. You truly can't know the limits of a person who thinks Geishas and Santa Claus match.
Meggings
It's no big secret that we live in a male dominated world. As is their birthright, men love taking all our good stuff--jobs, money, virginity. They can even have their penises removed to have a working female vag installed. However, there are certain things that should be sacred only to women. Babies, the color pink, and up to this point, I thought leggings. Men are wearing leggings and turning them into meggings! I don't even really know what there is to say about meggings other than it makes no sense. It's senseless! I mean, it already makes me slightly uncomfortable watching male ballerinas in tights dancing around with their bulges hanging out like its no big deal. Now, guys are going to be brunching in their leggings out in public expecting us to swallow our eggs and pretend like skinny legs and giant crotches don't bother us? You guys have got some balls. So let's just state the obvious now. It's pretty apparent that Russell Brand and that Asian guy trying to look like a badass in leggings are wearing girl outfits. That's right Asian guy, you can stare at me all day long like that and you'll still be a guy in leggings. It just makes no sense. Leggings don't even have pockets, so where are they going to put their stuff? Is it even possible to wear leggings without a purse? Oh no, not purses too!
Suri Cruise Inspires Kate Spade
I would like to preface this post by saying that I love Kate Spade. And I don't think that she's only famous because she married David Spade's brother. Well, not anymore at least. But you have to admit, sometimes her stuff makes you go "Whaaa?" It's like ladies who lunch on acid. But what really gets me confused is why she chooses to design ONLY for Suri Cruise. That has to be the case. I mean, that is the only explanation for all the crazy Easter colors, bows and animal shaped stuff. Last season, I tried on a Kate Spade scarf where one of the ends was a stuffed animal head. Yup, she went there. I don't want to wear Pokemon around my neck. Cute--for Suri Cruise! Hello Kate Spade, I'm 30. Make something for me! To be frank, even Suri is about to grow out of that pink flamingo purse. Nobody over three feet tall should be able to carry that bag. She does however, make a mean wallet; she should definitely stay away from the scarves.
The "New" Powersuit
I received an email from Guess today promoting their "new" powersuit with a girl dressed in that: A crop top jacket and skintight white pants. I need a suit that looks like that like I need an STD. It makes me wonder where Guess thinks girls are going when they wear suits. In case Guess, you don't know, girls who wear suits are going to work. They are NOT going out to meet up with their homegirl, JWOWW. Guess also suggested that if I were to wear that suit, that I also buy those shoes made of fishnet stockings. To complete the look of course. Also to complete the look, "dolla" bills in my g-string.
