Being a girl, I know how much we (girls) dress up to impress boys. So, I have petitioned a boy to comment on one of todays biggest trends--skinny jeans. On any given day you can find him in Converse shoes, a puffy jacket, and a face that looks like it is always illuminated by light--light that is emanating from his laptop companion. I also wanted to say that although I do not agree with Joel's views, he still does have valid fashion opinions despite the fact that he shops at Eddie Bauer. And I also wanted to say--Skinny Jeans Rock!!!
Ask Joel: The Skinny on Skinny Jeans
I have been asked to comment on the new skinny jean fad taking up space in malls and fashion magazines everywhere. I have seen some of the magazine pictures, I have walked the halls of one such mall, and surfed the annals of some cyber photos. I am prepared to make my decision on skinny jeans: it is the proverbial thumbs down.
The reason is twofold: 1) these jeans leave absolutely nothing to the imagination; and 2) they make a woman's (and potentially a man's leg) look like a piece of dental floss complete with tooth gunk -- the "knee".
A pant should allow room for movement. It should fit the leg, but not hug it like a Kuala hugging a ucalyptus tree. In the examples of the skinny jean I have seen, there has rarely been a defined butt and leg separation. But more of a crease where the lower buttock meets the leg and the skin bends and ripples during movement. This is not flattering. Clothes should help to accent bodies not blur the lines between parts and show them in their realistic state. If people wanted reality, why would they wear clothes?
Ladies (and maybe gentlemen) it is time to rethink the skinny jeans. Be wicked. Be wild. Be wider than the latest fashion fad.
j.d. (defining phashion since 11.06)
Guys search far and wide for the perfect gift for the beloved women in their lives. And to this very day, even at this very second, it amazes me every time a guy wonders what to get his girlfriend. It's like, did these guys grow up living under a rock that was stuffed up a panda's butt?! Follow the blue/green box stupid! I don't know a girl whose heart doesn't beat a little faster and whose eyes don't sparkle a little brighter when they are presented that Tiffany's box with the perfect white bow. So, climb out from under that rock and get her this bracelet. The floating heart, the teardrop, the wave, the bean and the starfish--all in that beautiful 18k gold! Geeezus, it couldn't get any better if it came with Paul Walker shirtless on the beach. It's $1,800, and if you're a guy you better not be gasping because this bracelet is gonna buy you another 6 months with your girl--Schmuck!
I have decided that I want to single-handedly bring down J.Crew for emotionally manipulating the public into believing that they are allowed to charge high fashion prices for Gap clothes. This jacket is $2000. Yes, yet another roach jacket from J.Crew for 2G's. It's "hand-combed" Italian cashmere. Like me, you probably don't care if this cashmere is from Italy, or that it is hand-combed. I wouldn't even care if the hairs of the jacket were hand sheared by an Italian woman from the arms and legs of babies, nobody should pay $2000 for this jacket or anything else from J.Crew. I don't know where J.Crew has the balls to set these prices. It's like they think they're Prada except with cardigans and baby tees. So I ask you to stop the madness, and stop buying J.Crew! Go down five stores to a place called Gap, where jackets are mass-made and cost $39.99. Now, I know that this rant has less to do with fashion and more to do with my maniacal plan to rebel against J.Crew and so I will remedy that with one of my beloved fashion inside tips: Wear fake eyelashes when you party because they are the source of all my power, and if you don't wear them, then get DiorShow mascara by Dior--it's the best thing to come in a tube, for your eyes, pretty much ever.
Tis the season for Christmas parties and Christmas party dresses galore. No gal should ever be stuck in a red tafetta nightmare on the holiest day of the year. So, go out and wear something hot and chiffon like this dress from Nordstrom. It's only $62 dollars, so now you can't even say that you wore a roach dress because you couldn't afford something nice. Plus, there's built in bling with the silver neckline. Jewelry and a dress in one? You can't go wrong.