The time has finally arrived to store away your boots, UGGS, tennis shoes, and all those other shoes that that hide your feet, because hoochie-shoe season is in!! I love hoochie-shoe season because only hoochie shoes can make a hoochie outfit complete. Honestly, without the shoes girls are totally boring. What would a slutty girl look like without her plastic lucite heels? Or a nerdy chick without her 1997 Reeboks? Normal, that's what. Therefore, shoes are an important part in not just looking pretty but defining the person that you are. It's the same for guys. If I did a blind taste test and looked at only a guy's shoes I can tell almost everything about him. For example, if a guy wore black square-tip Kenneth Cole black shoes, I could deduce that he is 1. Asian, 2. an engineer and 3. single or dates the girl in the 1997 Reeboks because he is still wearing the same stuff he wore in high school now that he's 28. It's a sore truth, but true nonetheless. Moral of this story, get cool shoes so that other people think that you're cool! Now that I have given a true and viable reason to buy shoes, check out those hot $500.00 Christian Louboutins! If I do not have them, I will completely lose grasp of my personality and who I am. I also feel the same way about purses...and clothes...and gold bangles...
It's no secret that I love bangles. These Ippolita bangles, however, are extra spectacular because not only are they gold, but they also have gemstones!! Plus, Halle Berry wears them, and everyone knows that we should buy whatever it is that Halle is selling. Sure, she's been unlucky in love with that wife-beating baseball player and that one hot singer with the sex addiction. But, she's no Jennifer Aniston (whom we love too). Now it's all turning around for her. She's a baby's mama! And the baby daddy is some hot Versace model! See, these bracelets are magic and uber cute with a hot black dress or even just jeans and a tee. So, get them while they're hot!
I have always wanted to wear maxi dresses. They're pretty, flowy, usually floral and at the same time completely roach on me. I don't know why!! I'm a cute, skinny asian chick that in theory should not only look cute in maxi dresses but in everything. So, I'm always befuddled when I put on a maxi dress thinking that I'm all kinds of greek goddess, when in reality I look like some demented asian mini-me.
My arms look bigger, my legs get shorter and I generally look roach all around. That's why I'm giving maxi-dresses a huge thumbs down. This is mostly because if maxi dresses are not the roach ones, that means that I am, and we DON'T like that. Thus, maxi dresses, I deem you roach, however, I give you a point for not having to suck in when I wear them.
How can you make old things new again? Apparently, these days, you just add a bunch of fringe to it and it automatically becomes styley and amazing. Just like the land we live on and illegal gaming, we have appropriated yet another Native American ritual: putting fringe on everything--and I have to say; I personally love it.
Boots, sandals, purses and dresses, it seems that I can't go anywhere without getting hit in the face with fringe. This is because fringe is festive. With the economy going under, we all need a festive pick-me-up and fringe makes you shake. It's the nature of the beast. So make everyday a party and shake your way into the New Year with the above Tracy Zych fringe bag.
You will inevitably inspire good vibes with everyone you will inadvertantly hit with all that fringe. Plus, anything fringe is going to match with your slutty Pocahontas Halloween costume. There, now you won't feel bad that you bought something that will look absolutely ridiculous in two months. It's fringe for god sakes!