One of these two top coats is chic and fantastic, and the other one makes a man look like an over-sized, demented Paddington Bear. Cold weather is upon us and we will soon be seeing guys putting on their peacoats and wool sweaters. All of which are acceptable--except one. I understand that there is not a lot of selection for guys in terms of winter-wear. There's blazers, puffy jackets and that one black zip up jacket that most guys and most definitely ALL Asian guys own from Banana Republic. But there's always the guys that will turn to the dreaded shiny black leather coat once they spot an overcast day. For these guys, they think that their leather jacket has magic powers that will turn their normal yuppie self into a gun-toting Sopranos gangster. You'll never be a gangster, especially if you are the guy that wears said leather jacket to clubs holding a strawberry garnished cosmopolitan, and wears thin-rimmed Prada glasses trying desperately to look "hard". So accept your yuppiness guys! Do yourself and women a favor and get that gorgeously pretentious black top coat that goes with your entire yuppy wardrobe. People may think that you're a rude, young, urban professional who spends money with reckless abandon...but that sounds pretty good to me.
Buy of the Week: Coolest Affordable Winter
I can't actually buy any of the "buys of the week" since I'm broke, but I am happy to oblige all you beautiful people that can still feel the fabulous pressure to buy. This jacket is from Nordstrom and it has all the things that are perfect for the coming cold weather: it's red, its cropped, and it's cute...And it's only $40. Sure beats a blazer from J.Crew for $2000.
On the Fence
Everytime I go shopping, I inevitably always make a stop at Old Navy. If any of my shopping companions ever ask if we should go in, I always answer "of course." And to this very day, I don't own one thing that I actually wear from Old Navy. So why do I go in? Because it always sounds like a good idea. I see the jungle of chinos and peasant tops and something in my brain clicks on, and I'm hopeful that I will find something good for 2 bucks--even though I never have before. Well, there's a lot of stuff out there that sounds like a good idea to me, and yet I can't make a decision on whether or not I like it. Here are a few, and feel free to give me your opinion on whether or not I should hate it.
1. Leggings-- Actually I love leggings. I love them despite the fact that they make my legs look like old man walking sticks. What I'm not sure that I like are leggings underneath those short jean mini-skirts. I'm leaning towards roach and trashy, but you tell me.
2. Peasant Tops-- They're empire waisted, embroidered and sometimes even bedazzled. All three of these things, in theory, sound pretty good to me. But when I actually see a peasant top all I keep thinking is that they actually look like "peasant" tops.
3. Leg warmers-- Ok this is one that I really really love. I have purchased two pairs of hot leg warmers when I was in Japan and I love them, and yet have still not rocked them. Deep down, I know that they're roach, but I can't let it go. I think they're so cool with black stilletos--cool in a chic street walker kind of way.
4. Lil' Kim jackets-- The small puffy jackets with the fur on the hood. I'm not actually on the fence with this one. I love it, I own one, and don't talk smack about it because I will throw down like a gangsta.
Why Guys, Why?
I need to know what the meaning of this is. Men wearing tapered jeans as if it is not totally and completely offensive. Like Mom Jeans, men’s tapered pants have absolutely no functionality whatsoever other than making the man look absolutely roach. And for some reason, tapered jeans are always stonewashed and paired with those roach black lumberjack shoes and a blue patterned wool sweater. It’s like they’re about to go off to hunt feral cats or something. Totally weird. If you are a man who thinks this looks good, remind yourself now that it does not. It never did, not even when Jordan Knight wore them. Step into a new era by tossing out those tapered jeans and hiking shoes. Open your eyes and realize that this is an era where pants go over the shoes now and trade in those damaged Wranglers for Diesel jeans. I promise, you won't be sorry because you men will notice that when women look at you, they won’t be making weird faces at your ankles and then smirking to their hot friends about how they saw that exact same outfit on the guy that sells comic books, plays Magic and eats Cheetos while drinking Pepsi from a 2-liter and sporting a mullet. In other words, we have to let tapered jeans RIP.
