Over-Share

Zara tank, Club Monaco skirt, Zara mules, Ray-Ban sunglasses, Shopbop Basic bag

I have never been one to complain about people's over-sharing on Facebook. In fact, I'm pretty nosy, so I actually kinda love spying on what you're doing and who you're doing it with. I'll probably even spread some rumors about you based on your stupid photos. However, today has changed everything. I woke up to the most horrifying status update that made me question all human decency. It was a picture of a toilet bowl with human feces and pee. At this point, can we all agree that this is the most vile, disgusting and wildly inappropriate picture for a Facebook "status update?" That this is taking "status update" much too literally? Would it change your mind if I said the feces belonged to a child? Or that this photo was posted by a mom about her kid's first shit? I DIDN'T THINK SO! FB moms, I love you, I may even love your kid, I may even find some of those kid photos amusing, but lets save those shit and piss photos for your own personal collection. I think I can speak for everyone in the world--including your own kid, when I say, NOBODY CARES! Just because this poop is from a kid does not make this by any means "ok." I mean, if an adult posted up their bowel movement, they would be ostracized. So, I think that we should make it rule to apply adult standards for children when it comes to FB updates about poop, piss, private parts and biting your feet. I guess the last one's ok, it's just boring. 

Hermes bracelet, Cartier, Baublebar and Brandy Pham rings

Farmer's Market or Rodeo?

Madewell chambray shirt, Citizens of Humanity jeans, Pour La Victoire shoes, Shopbop Basic bag, Ray-Ban aviator sunglasses

Do you sometimes put on an outfit thinking that it is perfect for going to get some wine and cheese at the farmer's market, but really it was perfect for the rodeo? Well, there I was, an Asian cowboy carrying my cute wicker bag full of Brie, designer honey, and a loaf of cranberry walnut artisinal bread. What's funny is, it looked slightly less weird than it sounds. Still pretty weird, but not as weird. At least I had the sense not to wear a hat.

Cartier and Jules Smith rings, Anarchy Street, House of Harlow and Jules Smith bracelets, Michael Kors watch

Poncho

Club Monaco poncho, Citizens of Humanity jeans, Pour La Victoire shoes, Ray-Ban sunglasses, Mark and Graham bag

Some genius decided to fashionize ponchos, which are historically giant blankets used to keep you dry from the rain. Nowadays, these ponchos are neither water resistant, nor do they keep you warm. Which means that they're basically pretty useless as ponchos, but are totally amazing as giant blanket-shirts. 

So do it, because "Mama said poncho out!"  Ok, I'm gonna stop while I'm ahead. 

Hermes, Stella and Dot, Anarchy Street bracelets, Cartier, Brandy Pham, Baublebar rings

Taken From The Guys

Express for Men button-up, Club Monaco shorts, Belle by Sigerson Morrison shoes, Chanel bag, Ray-Ban sunglasses

Yes, this shirt that I am wearing is taken from the guys--my guy to be exact. I took it from him this weekend because I thought I might as well since I was doing a lot of taking recently. This shirt was taken from him right after our prime rib dinner when I had called dibs on his prime rib bone. Yes, I called dibs on the bone because the bone looked so special. It was grilled and roasted separately and then laid on top of the meat like a giant meat garnish. I was just going to go in for a little bite and then take the rest home to the puppy to gnaw on.  But, the next day, as I was handing the bone down to the pups, something weird happened: I put the bone in MY OWN mouth! And I kept gnawing it on it for the next 30 minutes. No, there's not much meat on it, but the meat juices were so tantalizing that it was more satisfying than chewing off the cartilage from chicken wing--which is saying a lot. I am astounded that the restaurant would give this bone to you at the dinner table because the only way you can chew on this thing is to just go absolutely crazy with it! There was meat juice in my bangs! It was like I could see through the millions of millennia to our ancestors sitting in a cave chewing on the same prime rib gigantic warm juicy bone and I realized that I was never going to give this bone up to that poor dog.

My brother's wise words have never rung truer than that moment: If humans were not meant to eat animals, then why are they made out of meat?

David Yurman, Stella and Dot, Anarchy Street and Svelte Metals bracelets, Michele watch, Anarchy Street and Melinda Maria rings