Mini-Skirt Mondays

Gap sweater, Club Monaco skirt, Prabal gurung x Target shoes, Selima sunglasses, Chanel bag

You probably thought that with my recent midi-skirt binge that I was starting my descent into "conservative dressing" or "dressing my age." Well, think again! It's Mini-Skirt Monday and these little legs still have some mileage in them. Sorry people, this thirty-something is going to be dressing inappropriately for many years to come...just like every other cougar you know.

Hermes, Stella and Dot, Davd Yurman, House of Harlow bracelets, Melinda Maria, Anarchy Street and Cartier rings, Michele watch

White Skirt Remix Day 2

Club Monaco bomber jacket, Zara white midi skirt, Kenneth Cole Leopard shoes, Ray-Ban boyfriend sunglasses

I remixed this white "commando" skirt with something new today. It was basically just an excuse to wear this skirt again without being tacky. Of course, now I just called out my tackiness. How tacky.

As an update, my friend "A" suggested I wear a slip with this skirt instead of not wearing any underwear. I believe she is correct, so I am now totally behind this slip idea. Definitely keep wearing underwear. 

Hermes, Anarchy Street, Svelte Metals bracelets, Maison MArtin Margiela, Cartier rings, Michael Kors watch

Commando

Club Monaco crop top and jacket, Zara white skirt, Via Spiga sandals, Ray-Ban sunglasses

Anyone who knows me, knows I love a lot of coverage, and by coverage I mean I like the places on my body that look like ham hocks and also my private bits to be covered. Extra covered. That means you will never see the tops of my arms and my tooshie will always be in full-butted underwear otherwise known as granny panties. 

I fully admit that I have worn a thong only about a handful of times and only in the most dire of circumstances. I'm sorry, but a string going up my crack and a tiny triangle in the front barely constitutes healthy butt coverage. I need at least two layers between me and whatever that bum put on that Bart seat I'm sitting on. Sure there's been some awkward dating moments between dates 3 and 10 when I switch from sexy to full-butted undies and there's some sort of silent wave of confusion; but that's they're problem. So imagine my own surprise, at myself, when I decided to go commando in this white skirt. Honestly, I just thought that it would be easier to go commando than to wear an uncomfortable worthless thong where my butt and most of my vag would be exposed anyways. And I was right! It felt amazing. I was totally that girl in the movie that has the witty banter with the hot guy, and I end up saying "I'm not wearing any." So, if it was socially acceptable...or hygienic, "commando" would be my middle name. Except after 20 minutes I started to get all kinds of anxiety about what could crawl up my na-na and the repercussions of sitting down on any surface that another butt has touched. So, I ended up back in my full-butted underwear like Cinderella, but what a glorious 20 minutes of standing at the Ball.

Hermes, David Yurman, Anarchy Street bracelets, Michele watch, my own rings

Blue Suede Shoes

Zara skirt and shoes, Gap sweater, Ray-Ban sunglasses, Marc Jacobs bag 

You know how some people say "shoes will be the death of me?" That's how I feel about these shoes-literally, because whenever I wear these, all I'm thinking is, one more step in these goddamn, razor-blade laden blue suede shoes and I will die. They're deceivingly plain and comfortable looking. There's barely any shoe actually covering my feet! But somehow, anywhere the fabric of these shoes touch there's a blood wound underneath. Now, I've resorted to buying packs of band-aids just so I can wear these shoes. For example, in these pictures, I actually have about 7 band-aids of various kinds on various parts of my feet like foot armor. It's like they're angry, like I got the Chucky of shoes and they're torturing me by eating every part of my feet, but really stylishly. There is literally not one portion of my feet that these shoes have not torn through my flesh. The back of my ankles? Check. The tips of my toes? Check. The top of my right ankle? Check. Oh and the top of my left ankle? Check. I even have a wound at the bottom of my pinky toe. My pinky toe! That toe is so small! I refuse to give in however, because these shoes so perfectly matches with this outfit. On a side note, hey Zara why don't you stitch on a lining for these puppies, I'll pay the extra $10 bucks for it. That's how much I'm spending on band-aids each time anyways.

Hermes bracelet, Michele watch, Anarchy Street, Cartier, and my own rings