Bralette Tops

Topshop Bralette Top

Club Monaco Bralette Top 

I'm over thirty and I wore a bralette top last week.  I also wanted to clarify that I am not J.Lo, and I was not in Las Vegas where I could wear a bralette top and just say "but I was in Vegas".  Nope, I was in good ole San Francisco in a bralette top.  I'm always very good at finding the right cool and age appropriate attire, so this was definitely my first foray into Old Lady Dressing Young-Land and trust me--there are rules:

1.  The first rule is pretty obvious: cover yourself up!  If you are over 30 and wearing a bra as a top then you should be covering your top up. There should be no delusions as to who you think you are and you are definitely NOT either of those 22 year-old girls in the photos wearing bra tops about to paint the town red.  No, you're out of paint.  So, always pair your bralette top with some sort of outerwear like a jean jacket, leather moto jacket or blazer.  

2.  Second: never show your belly button--ever.   Not even a little.  Not even if you think you have a cute one.  Not even if you think that it's ok because it's just the tip of the top of your belly button.  Nobody has a cute one and even "just the tip" is way too much.  

3.  Third: always wear something high-waisted. The finger test has been used for centuries by Catholic School Girls and short skirts and it will work for 30-somethings and crop tops.  Use your finger and measure out and inch and that's the maximum amount of midriff you should be showing.  Pull those pants up ladies!

Apparently, there is also a secret fourth rule that I discovered on a Tuesday lunch date with a friend.  I met up with her for the first time ever for a laid back girl date.  All the ingredients for a great girl date were there; there was a salad bar, sunshine, sitting al fresco with some sparkling water--and then my ass in a bralette top.  It seemed fine, it seemed great! Up until 10 minutes into our lunch when she asks me why I was in a bralette top.  Yup, that happened.  Then, I quickly realized that maybe there is only one rule: just don't wear bralette tops!

After 30 seconds, I dismissed that because I was already in the damn thing and I was sucking in so hard I could barely swallow my potato salad.  So ladies, rule four: don't wear a bralette top on a Tuesday lunch date with a friend...who is now also a bitch.  

If This Is Prabal Gurung, Then I Don't Want To Be Prabal Gu-Right

I'm usually not a fan of the lower priced designer collaborations.  Other than the Missoni for Target collaboration, which was amazing because how can you go wrong with zig-zags?  But, most of the time the designer collaborations are always what they seem to be: cheaper, uglier, and only slightly reminiscent versions of the designer's awesome REAL collection.  For example, how can we forget Maison Martin Margiela for H&M's collection, which was quite obviously designed exclusively for crazy performance artists and street protesters.  However, Prabal Gurung's collection for Target which launched on February 10, 2013 nationwide and online is the absolute coolest.  Every piece in the collection is cool, edgy and perfect for the urban street gal. The prices are happy and cheap, so most likely it's all sold out by now.  You can probably get it on ebay for 10x the Target price; in which case it's the same price as a piece from the regular Prabal Gurung collection but will only last you two wears because, lets face it, it's still Target clothes.  But to those of you who got to bask in the glow of cheap Prabal Gurung for those 30 beautiful minutes before it sold out, congratulations, you definitely win for being best dressed in Target clothes.  

A Wedge Between Us

I would be a liar if I said that being featured in Street Style was a day that I had not waited for and prepared for all my life; because it was.  Every girl who waits every month to get their fashion magazines have fingered through those pages thinking "I look better than that bitch--and I wish someone would take my picture to prove it!"  Well it happened to me and it was glorious.  However, as validating as it was, the feature has also given me newfound fashion confidence.  Or should I say over-confidence that is sending me down a rabbit hole of "this is totally gross for most people, but since I was in Street Style, I can get away with it" type of fashion decisions.  Take for example these Ash wedge sneakers.  Yes, they are definitely gross for most people, especially the two girls that were watching me try them on at Bloomies.  When one of the girls whispered to the other that she wished she looked as cool as I did in these wedge sneakers, I knew I had no choice. I promptly went to the register and paid for my new wedge sneakers because I'll be damned if I let a woman trying on UGG mules fashion shame me.  I was in Street Style for god sakes.  

I paired my Ash wedge sneakers with a white t-shirt, dark skinny jeans and a black coat or blazer. If I discover a second outfit that I can wear these with, I'll let you know.  

Season's Greetings Geisha!

Isn't that cute?  It's a little Asian Geisha Christmas tree ornament! Oh awesome, it comes in a set of 6.  Now my Asian people doing Asian stuff Christmas tree will be perfect!  Wait, what?  Did I miss "Asians as Novelty Items Day?" When the did this happen?  When did an actual race become cute enough to be hung on Christmas trees everywhere?  Asians aren't Christmasy! So many questions and so many people who seem to act like this is normal.  It's freaking me out, especially since now that I have checked the website, this Geisha is sold out!  You can't even "add to wait list" anymore.  That means that hundreds of households out there are hanging her on their trees and decorating their homes with Geishas right now.  Doesn't that naturally make you wonder what else could be hanging on their tree that could possibly match with this?  An Asian woman doing nails?  An Asian woman hanging clothes on a dry cleaning machine?  An Asian woman sewing Nike shoes?  The list is terrifyingly endless.  However, I recognize that I may be jumping to conclusions and damning all these people buying Geishas for Christmas way too quickly.  These people could totally have many other different types of ornaments on their trees, like:  Hispanics doing offensive things, African Americans doing offensive things, or even white people doing offensive things.  You truly can't know the limits of a person who thinks Geishas and Santa Claus match.