Bralette Tops

  Topshop Bralette Top

Topshop Bralette Top

  Club Monaco Bralette Top  

Club Monaco Bralette Top 

I'm over thirty and I wore a bralette top last week.  I also wanted to clarify that I am not J.Lo, and I was not in Las Vegas where I could wear a bralette top and just say "but I was in Vegas".  Nope, I was in good ole San Francisco in a bralette top.  I'm always very good at finding the right cool and age appropriate attire, so this was definitely my first foray into Old Lady Dressing Young-Land and trust me--there are rules:

1.  The first rule is pretty obvious: cover yourself up!  If you are over 30 and wearing a bra as a top then you should be covering your top up. There should be no delusions as to who you think you are and you are definitely NOT either of those 22 year-old girls in the photos wearing bra tops about to paint the town red.  No, you're out of paint.  So, always pair your bralette top with some sort of outerwear like a jean jacket, leather moto jacket or blazer.  

2.  Second: never show your belly button--ever.   Not even a little.  Not even if you think you have a cute one.  Not even if you think that it's ok because it's just the tip of the top of your belly button.  Nobody has a cute one and even "just the tip" is way too much.  

3.  Third: always wear something high-waisted. The finger test has been used for centuries by Catholic School Girls and short skirts and it will work for 30-somethings and crop tops.  Use your finger and measure out and inch and that's the maximum amount of midriff you should be showing.  Pull those pants up ladies!

Apparently, there is also a secret fourth rule that I discovered on a Tuesday lunch date with a friend.  I met up with her for the first time ever for a laid back girl date.  All the ingredients for a great girl date were there; there was a salad bar, sunshine, sitting al fresco with some sparkling water--and then my ass in a bralette top.  It seemed fine, it seemed great! Up until 10 minutes into our lunch when she asks me why I was in a bralette top.  Yup, that happened.  Then, I quickly realized that maybe there is only one rule: just don't wear bralette tops!

After 30 seconds, I dismissed that because I was already in the damn thing and I was sucking in so hard I could barely swallow my potato salad.  So ladies, rule four: don't wear a bralette top on a Tuesday lunch date with a friend...who is now also a bitch.