On any given day, brunch at a trendy restaurant downtown in any city, in any state, will attract “easy like Sunday morning” eaters and loungers. Except, instead of those gorgeous Sex in the City gals in hot heels and hip cocktail attire by Dior or Dolce; you’ll notice instead capris, nikes and Hanes t-shirts in all colors pastel. It’s what I like to call The American Mom Uniform of Choice. For some reason, a once normal slick looking girl will turn to capris, pastel, and tennis shoes the second she begins to procreate. Why I ask. What would compel a girl to hang up her cute tops and regular length pants and choose to constantly look like they are in jammies? The answer is always “comfort.” Apparently comfort has lead young moms everywhere to t-shirts/culottes central.
Capri pants are of the unique nature that showoff the ugliest, most un-sexy part of a woman because they cut off right at the ankle. Sometimes moms will go more daring and sport the ones that cut off at the shins, attempting to be make them cool. It’s not cool. It’s never cool. In fact, they’re probably a hop, skip and a jump away from mu-mu’s and sweats. I am convinced that it is because of these moms that capris haven't died yet. They're trying to make the world believe that these pants are cute, stylish and comfortable so that they can get away with wearing them. But it’s not ok, and the first step is admitting it. Refuse to let comfort blind you into believing that pants that were invented as flood gear are ever a good idea. And that goes for capri’s fat cousin—the gaucho pant as well.
Granted, I don’t know anything about being a mom, but I do know a little something about clothes, and I know that unless paired with a hoochie top and heels, capris are never a good solution. There is a solution to this fashion paux pas phenomenon though and it is simple. Resist the temptation to throw on those calf-length khakis with that pastel pink tee. Like everything that tastes good in life, you must resist the temptation. Bring back those dark boot cut jeans and black cami. Slip into a pair of big dark glasses and put on some jewelry with a glint of gold and you’ll feel like you got your swag back. Don’t let domestic life demolish your style. You may not be a swinging single anymore, but that doesn’t mean you can’t look like a MILF.
