My Own Mexican Drama

Trina Turk tunic, Burberry bikini, Dolce Vita shoes, Shopbop Basic bag, Ray-Ban sunglasses

It's always funny to me when people are on a relaxing vacation with nothing to do and no work to think about what they will give their attention to.  For me, my attention goes straight to all the other strange vacationers around me and getting embroiled in their everyday dramas.  I know their schedules, where they like to lounge, whether they like sun or shade, what drinks they will order and who they will harass once they get bored.  For example, I know that "Frumpa Dumps" will want the bed closest to the entrance so they can grab snacks easy.  Mrs. Frumpa Dumps gets especially irritated if you bring her a beer and lemonade and (how dare they) it's a frozen lemonade. The "Ed Hardy Party" and the "Bug-a-Boos" (because they bug) are pretty normal, delightful pudgy Canadians until they get their first 10:00 am tequila sunrise in which case they turn into nacho-eating, crazed, entitled fatties ordering around the staff like they're the upstairs crew at Downton.  Lords and Ladies they are not.  And of course, "Crank Tank" gets up at the crack of dawn to save herself the best bed in the pool at 7:30 am, but will turn her anger on you when you stroll in at 11:00 am to the bed next door that you got because you used your Asian brain and reserved it by asking the nice pool man to do it for you for 50 pesos.  There's also "iPod" who will plug their music into every bar and restaurant on the resort and force you to listen to their mid-life crisis house music.  But my absolute favorite to watch was "Beefcake".  He was a beautiful beefy Australian man who was on a romantic tryst with an American ex-housewife.  It was very clear that he was out of her league, so everything they did was done under this veil of desperate love she had for him.  At one point, she left the pool bed to sit on a lounge chair, until some hotties rolled in and then she was right back on the pool bed because she was a 45 year old divorcee, who as you know, are basically like wild animals.  This woman was like a wildebeest, and this wildebeest was going protect her Tasmanian Beefcake. 

These dramas have been my world for the last 7 days and I'm sincere in saying I'm going to miss it!  So, my last frothy Miami Vice is dedicated to Frumpa Dumps, Ed Hardy Party, Bug-A-Boos, Crank Tank, iPod and Beefcake.  May you always be a pain in the ass wherever you go because I'll be watching.

Fall Layers In Puerto Vallarta!

Club Monaco tissue sweater and shorts, Tory Burch bikini, Dolce Vita shoes, Shopbop Basic bag, Sunpocket sunglasses

In Puerto Vallarta, when you talk about layering, you're talking about what shirt/dress/tunic/maxi you're going to layer over your bikini.  It's pretty amazing and disorienting at the same time.  For example, I know that it's winter and there's even the smell of pine from the Christmas tree in the lobby, but I can't muster any holiday joy when my eyes are burning from the rays of the sun and the nice pool man keeps bringing me one frosty "Miami Vice" after another.  #Vacationproblems. 

Anarchy Street, Melinda Maria, Baublebar and Brandy Pham rings, Stella and Dot, Anarchy Street bracelets

Coats As Capes

Club Monaco jacket, Clover Canyon dress, Sam Edelman shoes, Ray-Ban aviators

**Orignally Published on October 25, 2013 without photos.  Re-published with photos and because it's an oldie but a goodie.

I'm not exactly sure when this happened, but all of a sudden some time in 2013 it became very passe to put your arms through the armholes of jackets. Fashionistas, stylists, and editors the world over were draping their jackets and coats over their shoulders like they were capes, and admittedly, I loved it! These women looked so badass and had a look of "I am SOO over everything" that it made me envious because I wanted to be cool enough to be "SOO over everything" too! Today, I decided to try this look with my new amazing Club Monaco jacket to devastating and humiliating results.

It turns out, there's a certain kind of woman that is able to wear her coat without her arms, and that woman is a Woman of Leisure. This woman who can casually drape her jacket across her shoulders is most definitely not a woman with a place to be at at 9:00 am, she doesn't have to catch a Muni train, and she definitely never ever needs to sprint across the street because the timer on the walking light is ticking down to 3,2,1. This woman, when she felt her coat falling off while running to catch her train did NOT button the top button to keep it from falling down only to discover in the reflection that she looked like a complete fool and almost choked from that goddamn button. And this woman definitely did not almost drop her brand new coat in the mud because she was fiddling around in her purse for a mini Twix and her arms can only go up halfway like a T-Rex. Oh no, because THAT woman was me and by the end of the morning, both my arms were in the armholes...because that's what they're there for, to warm my arms. Thus, my conclusion is even though I love this look, this trend is solely for those ladies that have nowhere to be, ladies that can walk really really slow and ladies that never ever have to dig into their purse for anything because their assistants can carry all the Twix they want. Lucky them.

Holiday Black

BCBG silk dress, Club Monaco leather jacket, BCBG shoes, Chanel bag, Ray-Ban aviators

Holiday party invitations are starting to crop up in everyone's mailboxes and emails.  And everyone is no doubt going home and grabbing their best red, gold, silver or sparkle dress to celebrate the occasion.  However, I don't look good in most of those colors.  At least not as good as I do in black!  I showed up to my first holiday party in this black ensemble: black silk dress and black leather jacket.  It's true that it was a little reminiscent of "An Elvira Christmas", but lets not forget that Elvira was kinda hot.  As a consolation, I'm wearing silver shoes, so at least my feet are Christmasy.  

Chanel bag, Maison Martin Margiela, Brandy Pham, Anarchy Street, Melinda Maria and Cartier rings