Cheap City Chic

I am currently in the process of freeing myself from a man that fancies himself the next Saddam Hussein and his faithful sidekick Cruella de Ville.  Work misery aside, I am now faced with something even more miserable:  living and shopping... on a budget (insert horror movie scream).  I know, totally scary.  But I have discovered that you don't have to look totally roach when you're on a budget.  Here are 5 tips to being cheap and chic in the city: 1.  Wear all black.  Black has many benefits like, hiding your cottage cheese thighs and slimming your muffin top.  I don't think I need to sell you anymore on black.  Anything that makes a chick have to suck in less has to be a plus.  I should know, I haven't taken full breath of air since 1993.

2.  Big sunglasses.  Big sunglasses will always be in because Audrey Hepburn will always be in.  Everyone dreams of being Holly Golightly a la Breakfast at Tiffanys, and what we always remember is her in that tiara and those big sunglasses.  So, since it's not socially acceptable to walk around in tiaras and be a snotty bitch, grab a pair of big sunglasses to go with your Audrey Hepburn all black ensemble.

3.  Big earrings.  Big earrings are super fun because they're so huge.  Any simple outfit can be ultra awesome with some big earrings.  Plus, big earrings shows that you have big cajones--just saying.

4.  Converse. No, you will not be roaming around the city in your cutest heels when you're on a budget because you won't be buying heels for a very long time.  So save those heels for a night out and grab yourself some Chucks. Outfit example:  boyfriend blazer, plain white tee, skinny jeans and Chucks = Super Cute.

5.  Plain white tees.  White tees go with anything and everything.  White men's tees, white button downs, white tank tees...there's no going wrong with white.  Well, unless there's ring around the collar or pit stains--not sexy.  I guess you can go wrong with white. Of course if you're letting yourself sweat into a tizzy to cause pit stains, there's really not much help I can give you anyways.  In that case, eliminate all white.

There you have it.  5 items that are cheap, but will still be chic for many years to come.  We loves it (until we have money again).

An Engineer's Fashion Faux Pas

I have been living in San Francisco for over a year now and I have to tell you, it's fascinating.  I'm not going to bore you with where to find the best crepes or brunch places in the city, because nobody cares and I have discovered something far more interesting.  I live in Nerdville, USA.  But not the kind of nerds that fantasize about Manga chicks, eat Cheetos and drink Mountain Dew out of a two-liter bottle.  I live in the land of Engineering Nerds--a single gal's goldmine because they're so reliable and safe, and most importantly have tons of engineering money that they are dying to spend.  The drawback: they look like your 57 year old father.  Investigating deeper, I noticed that all engineers own only one outfit. Their uniform of choice always consists of a polo TUCKED IN to their pleated khakis,  Kenneth Cole square-toed black shoes, and the black Banana Republic jacket from 1997--the last year they cared about what they looked like.  And what if they run out of polos you ask?  Not to worry, they always have their company t-shirts to fall back on!  Yes!  Their supplemental clothes are clothes that say Microsoft or Google on it!! It's like they've voluntarily decided that they never want to have sex and pinned their own Scarlet Letters onto their polos.  It's so scary.  So, engineering nerds, I beg of you to stop tucking in your polos and wear any clothes that have the words "Apple", "Google" or "Yahoo!" on it, because it's not sexy.  In fact, it's kinda creepy. Take a cue from that chic nerd pictured on the right. Take time away from your World of Warcraft or Dungeons and Dragons, go out there and get yourself some cardigans and Chucks!  This world could be your oyster if you just looked cooler and stop dreaming about Middle Earth--where all the Hobbits were suspiciously effeminate.

Furry Vests: Cute the Chewbacca Way

Before I loved them, furry vests used to confuse me.  They're sleeveless and have massive amounts of fur covering just the front--like Chewbacca shaved his arms or something.  But now, I see the cuteness.  It's not Chewbacca at all!  It's totally Alexis Carrington circa Dynasty whilst vacationing in Aspen!  In short, furry vests are chic and ritzy, and will automatically make you feel like you are better than everyone else in the room.  And if you can't afford to buy the real thing or you don't to wear dead animal fur, then there's this really cute Juicy Couture fur vest that is cute and also affordable.  Happy hunting!

Burberry Princesses Unite!

It's weird, I myself have never been fascinated by this weird over-priced plaid crap.  And never would I ever have declared myself a Burberry Princess.  Louis Vuitton Princess, Gucci Princess, Chloe Princess--yes.  But not Burberry.  I mean, I know we all remember what Burberry used to be like--roach-ass plaid for old ladies who smelled like White Diamonds.   However, today I eat my words.  I LOVE Burberry.  I love it so much now that I want to be draped in all things Burberry.  Hats, scarves, galoshes, bags, you name it, I want it, and I will wear all these items as one ensemble like a demented ritzy lumberjack.  I am completely obsessed right now with the above Burberry bags. They are just cute and pretentious enough to hold my adorable Mac laptop.  We loves it!