It's that time again, when I call out JCrew for selling something unbelievably ugly for an unbelievably uglier price. Some of you may have grown tired of my attempts at single-handedly bringing down JCrew. But, I don't care, and I will continue my ridiculous crusade until JCrew stops charging $1,800.00 for dresses like the above. First of all this is a leather dress with sparkles all over it. Why in God's name any person would decide to bedazzle leather is beyond me. I mean, if it would be cheaper to just bedazzle regular cotton, lets go with that, because you've just sucked all the fun out of leather anyways. Second, the girl is wearing sandals with her $1,800.00 leather sparkle dress!! Come on! If' I'm wearing $1,800.00 worth of dress on me, I better not be wearing it with sandals to the freakin beach! To the JCrew designer, I challenge you. I challenge you to design a dress that is cute--cute and worthy of $1,800.00. This means that there cannot be thousands of pleats, rosettes, or ruffles and must be event appropriate. In other words, you can't charge $1,800.00 for a beach dress made of animal skin and plastic sparkles, because it's inappropriate and ugly. I understand everyone agrees with me, but nobody wants to stand with me because they can't give up those damn cardigans and gold flip-flops. Neither can I; I own both. But still, Down with JCrew!
This season, it's all about the leatha! Leather pants, leather jackets, leather vests, everything that you can find that is made of an animal's old skin is awesome. I tried on a faux leather jacket yesterday and it was cute. Well it was kinda cute until i tried on a REAL leather jacket. People say the faux is just the same, but oh how they are wrong. It is not the same! Real leather is so much softer, and slicker and waaaay more expensive, which is an indication of why it is sooo much better. Pairing leather with anything automatically makes you a badass. For example, if you own a leather jacket, then you're a badass who owns a motorcycle. If you own leather pants, then you're a badass rockstar. And if you owned an entire leather jumpsuit with a leather whip then you're one scary and kinda creepy badass sexual deviant. Any which way you look at it, it's all gold. I don't think that I need to convince anyone further of the awesomeness that is leather. So be a badass and drape yourself in leatha!