How amazing is this dress from, wait for it...FOREVER 21!! It's $22.00, gold lame (la-may), with gold lame flower embellishment. The trifecta of gold lamay-zingness!!! If this does not scream holiday party, I don't know what does. I want it, and I want it now! And it's the price of two lunches, which is perfect because you're not going to need lunches if you want to fit into this dress. Happy Holidays!
It's that time again where I show you how ridiculous JCrew is with their "couture" crap, in an attempt to single-handedly bring them down. This crap seen here is some sort of bronze jacquard dress that I honestly don't really know where you would wear this to or in what era. I mean, the thing makes this tiny model look like a fatty and a peasant all at the same time. Imagine if a regular person wore this dress. She would look, well, huge. And bronze. The price you ask? Wait for it...$2,200.00!!!!! That's TWO THOUSAND TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS!!! What the hell? When I see a crime like this dress, I feel like JCrew is personally trying to offend me, like the girl that wears a slutty white dress to a wedding. And like her, this dress and JCrew is insulting, maddening, spiteful and should DIE...at my hands!!! (What, too much?)
The pink BCBG dress is so adorable and is surprisingly also affordable. It's only $238.00 and is very reminiscent of Sienna Miller's white Marchesa except way not as pretty. Look, I'm not even going to pretend like these dresses are comparable other than the fact that they both have giant flowers on them. We all know that when we put the cheap comparable on our bodies, no matter how close it came to the real thing never looks anything like the awesome expensive version. And sometimes even gives you a rash and blisters. But, then again, we're not Sienna Miller and the BCBG dress is not Marchesa. You won't look like a white satin fairy princess in the BCBG, but you also didn't spend $5,000.00. So, you get what you pay for, and in this case, it's a cheap Sienna Miller.
I have attempted to stop my madness regarding JCrew and their outrageous prices for outrageously roach clothes. I almost wanted to even forgive JCrew for taking advantage of the average cardigan-wearing woman. But how can I do so when an abomination such as this dress exists? And how can I do so when this abomination exists at the low low price of $2,000.00!!!! There is no way that I can turn a blind eye from this feathers and rosette nightmare. The feathers on the skirt, with the ruffle rosettes on top, and that paper mache looking fabric?! It's so weird! Not to mention totally roach. I am so done with JCrew couture. I mean, JCrew should stop pretending like they're Marc Jacobs and start acting like they're Gap. I am convinced that JCrew is doing this on purpose. It's like when rich people get so rich that they get other people to cut their toenails for them every Tuesdays and Thursdays. JCrew is gotten so powerful selling cardigans that they don't give a crap anymore; they're just gonna sell really ridiculous clothes at ridiculous prices. It's so maddening, like this dress. There is no self-respecting woman that would wear this dress past the age of 7--the age when you're obsessed with making dresses out of paper mache.