It's that time again, when I call out JCrew for selling something unbelievably ugly for an unbelievably uglier price. Some of you may have grown tired of my attempts at single-handedly bringing down JCrew. But, I don't care, and I will continue my ridiculous crusade until JCrew stops charging $1,800.00 for dresses like the above. First of all this is a leather dress with sparkles all over it. Why in God's name any person would decide to bedazzle leather is beyond me. I mean, if it would be cheaper to just bedazzle regular cotton, lets go with that, because you've just sucked all the fun out of leather anyways. Second, the girl is wearing sandals with her $1,800.00 leather sparkle dress!! Come on! If' I'm wearing $1,800.00 worth of dress on me, I better not be wearing it with sandals to the freakin beach! To the JCrew designer, I challenge you. I challenge you to design a dress that is cute--cute and worthy of $1,800.00. This means that there cannot be thousands of pleats, rosettes, or ruffles and must be event appropriate. In other words, you can't charge $1,800.00 for a beach dress made of animal skin and plastic sparkles, because it's inappropriate and ugly. I understand everyone agrees with me, but nobody wants to stand with me because they can't give up those damn cardigans and gold flip-flops. Neither can I; I own both. But still, Down with JCrew!
Oh. My. God. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I totally support the purchase of these fringe booties by....JCrew. I shamefully think that these booties are really cute cause they're grey and cause they're fringey-two things that I enjoy. Don't get me wrong though! I still think JCrew is ridiculous. And I will ridicule any semi-overweight chick in her Tory Burch flats who decides to buy a $4,000.00 paisley cardigan. I mean that's just common sense! I am still outraged and will forever admonish all who love this evil that is JCrew. However, I am totally bewitched right now by their magic and I totally think these booties are cute. But don't worry, I have not lost sight of my goal and my hatred for JCrew. I am still all about singlehandedly bringing down this evil. "Down With JCrew!!"--just after I buy these booties.
I have attempted to stop my madness regarding JCrew and their outrageous prices for outrageously roach clothes. I almost wanted to even forgive JCrew for taking advantage of the average cardigan-wearing woman. But how can I do so when an abomination such as this dress exists? And how can I do so when this abomination exists at the low low price of $2,000.00!!!! There is no way that I can turn a blind eye from this feathers and rosette nightmare. The feathers on the skirt, with the ruffle rosettes on top, and that paper mache looking fabric?! It's so weird! Not to mention totally roach. I am so done with JCrew couture. I mean, JCrew should stop pretending like they're Marc Jacobs and start acting like they're Gap. I am convinced that JCrew is doing this on purpose. It's like when rich people get so rich that they get other people to cut their toenails for them every Tuesdays and Thursdays. JCrew is gotten so powerful selling cardigans that they don't give a crap anymore; they're just gonna sell really ridiculous clothes at ridiculous prices. It's so maddening, like this dress. There is no self-respecting woman that would wear this dress past the age of 7--the age when you're obsessed with making dresses out of paper mache.