Yesterday, I ordered a green milk boba tea with extra ice, pearls and taro pudding. And yes, I NEED all those toppings. But instead of popping one of those rubbery balls in my mouth immediately, I wanted to save it for my Real Housewives special episode. It was an episode that promised to be an exciting one, where Brooks was going to explain why and how he has successfully made a habit of faking cancer with several of his past girlfriends. I mean it was a must see. However, my night turned into a nightmare when I reached for my cup of boba and noticed that I had no straw! I had forgotten to pick up one of those ridiculously giant straws that have the power to suck up an entire steak right into your mouth. Without it, it's impossible to have the tea! Impossible! I got so desperate and panicked running around the house searching for a boba tool I almost popped one of my breast pump funnels into my mouth like a fraternity bro with Natty Ice. I ended up having to spoon feed myself tapioca, black tea and taro pudding. And yes, it did taste different and yes it was as disgusting as it sounds. Some things are just not meant to be eaten with a spoon...or a funnel.