Taken From The Guys

Express for Men button-up, Club Monaco shorts, Belle by Sigerson Morrison shoes, Chanel bag, Ray-Ban sunglasses

Express for Men button-up, Club Monaco shorts, Belle by Sigerson Morrison shoes, Chanel bag, Ray-Ban sunglasses

Yes, this shirt that I am wearing is taken from the guys--my guy to be exact. I took it from him this weekend because I thought I might as well since I was doing a lot of taking recently. This shirt was taken from him right after our prime rib dinner when I had called dibs on his prime rib bone. Yes, I called dibs on the bone because the bone looked so special. It was grilled and roasted separately and then laid on top of the meat like a giant meat garnish. I was just going to go in for a little bite and then take the rest home to the puppy to gnaw on.  But, the next day, as I was handing the bone down to the pups, something weird happened: I put the bone in MY OWN mouth! And I kept gnawing it on it for the next 30 minutes. No, there's not much meat on it, but the meat juices were so tantalizing that it was more satisfying than chewing off the cartilage from chicken wing--which is saying a lot. I am astounded that the restaurant would give this bone to you at the dinner table because the only way you can chew on this thing is to just go absolutely crazy with it! There was meat juice in my bangs! It was like I could see through the millions of millennia to our ancestors sitting in a cave chewing on the same prime rib gigantic warm juicy bone and I realized that I was never going to give this bone up to that poor dog.

My brother's wise words have never rung truer than that moment: If humans were not meant to eat animals, then why are they made out of meat?

David Yurman, Stella and Dot, Anarchy Street and Svelte Metals bracelets, Michele watch, Anarchy Street and Melinda Maria rings

David Yurman, Stella and Dot, Anarchy Street and Svelte Metals bracelets, Michele watch, Anarchy Street and Melinda Maria rings

Mini-Skirt Mondays

Gap sweater, Club Monaco skirt, Prabal gurung x Target shoes, Selima sunglasses, Chanel bag

Gap sweater, Club Monaco skirt, Prabal gurung x Target shoes, Selima sunglasses, Chanel bag

You probably thought that with my recent midi-skirt binge that I was starting my descent into "conservative dressing" or "dressing my age." Well, think again! It's Mini-Skirt Monday and these little legs still have some mileage in them. Sorry people, this thirty-something is going to be dressing inappropriately for many years to come...just like every other cougar you know.

Hermes, Stella and Dot, Davd Yurman, House of Harlow bracelets, Melinda Maria, Anarchy Street and Cartier rings, Michele watch

Hermes, Stella and Dot, Davd Yurman, House of Harlow bracelets, Melinda Maria, Anarchy Street and Cartier rings, Michele watch

White Skirt Remix Day 2

I remixed this white "commando" skirt with something new today. It was basically just an excuse to wear this skirt again without being tacky. Of course, now I just called out my tackiness. How tacky.

As an update, my friend "A" suggested I wear a slip with this skirt instead of not wearing any underwear. I believe she is correct, so I am now totally behind this slip idea. Definitely keep wearing underwear. 

Hermes, Anarchy Street, Svelte Metals bracelets, Maison MArtin Margiela, Cartier rings, Michael Kors watch

Hermes, Anarchy Street, Svelte Metals bracelets, Maison MArtin Margiela, Cartier rings, Michael Kors watch

Commando

Club Monaco crop top and jacket, Zara white skirt, Via Spiga sandals, Ray-Ban sunglasses

Club Monaco crop top and jacket, Zara white skirt, Via Spiga sandals, Ray-Ban sunglasses

Anyone who knows me, knows I love a lot of coverage, and by coverage I mean I like the places on my body that look like ham hocks and also my private bits to be covered. Extra covered. That means you will never see the tops of my arms and my tooshie will always be in full-butted underwear otherwise known as granny panties. 

I fully admit that I have worn a thong only about a handful of times and only in the most dire of circumstances. I'm sorry, but a string going up my crack and a tiny triangle in the front barely constitutes healthy butt coverage. I need at least two layers between me and whatever that bum put on that Bart seat I'm sitting on. Sure there's been some awkward dating moments between dates 3 and 10 when I switch from sexy to full-butted undies and there's some sort of silent wave of confusion; but that's they're problem. So imagine my own surprise, at myself, when I decided to go commando in this white skirt. Honestly, I just thought that it would be easier to go commando than to wear an uncomfortable worthless thong where my butt and most of my vag would be exposed anyways. And I was right! It felt amazing. I was totally that girl in the movie that has the witty banter with the hot guy, and I end up saying "I'm not wearing any." So, if it was socially acceptable...or hygienic, "commando" would be my middle name. Except after 20 minutes I started to get all kinds of anxiety about what could crawl up my na-na and the repercussions of sitting down on any surface that another butt has touched. So, I ended up back in my full-butted underwear like Cinderella, but what a glorious 20 minutes of standing at the Ball.

 

Hermes, David Yurman, Anarchy Street bracelets, Michele watch, my own rings

Hermes, David Yurman, Anarchy Street bracelets, Michele watch, my own rings