Madonna Monday Morning

Madewell denim jacket, Club Monaco sweater, Zara faux leather skirt, Tibi booties, Ray-Ban sunglasses

Today I woke up and had a Monday Morning Madonna Moment circa "Desperately Seeking Susan" except without all the lace, crazy hair, crazy make-up and plastic jewelry. So everything, except all the stuff that made Madonna's outfit cool.  It's like 80's Madonna Lite; which is how you should be emulating anything by Madonna anyways. Especially now that she's completely lost it and has the most pronounced and pointy cheekbone implants and chin job I've ever seen. But to be clear, I don't blame her one bit for her desperate craziness. How does a person like Madonna "grow old gracefully" anyways? You can't very well go from cone boobs and crotchless panties, writhing on a bed onstage with a barrage of beautiful gay men to Dr. Scholl's and button-ups drinking Earl Grey with her middle-aged retired dancer husband? No, as much as it pains me to say it, this freak phase that she's in is exactly what she should be doing. I would be pretty disappointed if she came out looking totally normal. Except for the cheekbones. Pointy cheekbones are just really creepy. 

Hermes bracelet, David Yurman and my own rings

Gone Fishing

Club Monaco camo jacket, Aqua x Bloomingdales silk dress, Kenneth Cole shoes, Ray-Ban sunglasses

Fishing jackets are the new cargo pants, which is great because cargo pants for girls are just so pointless. They're so skintight that you can't fit anything into those pockets which was why you wanted to wear cargo pants in the first place.  Fishing jackets on the other hand are huge and loose and have A TON of pockets. There's six pockets total. Six!!! It's like a little tenement house. The funny thing is, I used all of them! So I'm constantly patting myself down and poking around in each part of my jacket just to find five bucks for my morning coffee like a fool. The good new is, at least I have my hands free. I'll need them too, to keep patting myself down to find my stuff.  

JCrew, David Yurman, Hermes, Jules Smith bracelets, Michael Kors watch, Melinda Maria, Anarchy Street and Cartier rings

"Effortlessly" Cool

Madewell denim shirt, BCBG silk dress, Prabal Gurung x Target shoes, Chanel bag, Ray-Ban aviator sunglasses

I love wearing things that people say are "effortlessly" cool or "effortlessly" chic or "effortlessly" anything because those outfits take the most effort but looks like you just happened to throw something on and you just happened to look amazing in it. For example, I wore this dress to a holiday party this year and then re-purposed for a coffee run with a gal pal today. She noticed that I had worn it to a holiday party of course, and was amazed that I could cooly turn it into an "everyday" outfit like I'm some kind of fashion magician or something. As if all my clothes are so amazing that I can just wear anything in my closet as evening-wear or day-wear because I'm just that cool. Wake up people, nobody is that cool.  I knew when I bought this dress that I could make at least 4 outfits with it...that's why I bought it! Because, what's better than "effortless cool?" A lot of "bang for your buck" baby! So don't be fooled. The only thing effortless in this world are sweatpants and Uggs. 

David Yurman, Stella and Dot, Anarchy Street, bracelets, Brandy Pham, Baublebar, Erica Annenberg, Cartier rings, Michele watch

It's Not Easy Being Green

Club Monaco jacket, Aqua x Bloomingdales shirtdress, Tibi booties, Ray-Ban sunglasses

I absolutely LOVE this green suede jacket. I love it so much that I refuse to let this jacket become "that item". We all have "that item" or a lot of "that item".  It's the items of clothing or shoes that you buy because it's so cool and special, but then goes straight to the back of the closet and slowly dies there for years until you start purging your closet for stuff to donate. Well, I was not going to let the next time I saw this jacket be when I was about to throw it into a garbage bag to be sent to Salvation Army just because it's hard to find something that matches with pea green on a regular basis. No, I was going to do the opposite and wear it ALL THE TIME and since I can only find two outfits so far that match this jacket you'll be seeing me in this black shirtdress a lot. Case in point: I've already worn this outfit at least four times. That's a lot for a jacket that makes me look like a soup. Now that I've proven my point, I think I can take a break from it for a while. Pea green is really wearing on me and I have the perfect place to store it in my closet.