Baby Food

Joe's Jeans jacket, Levi's jeans, Aritzia shirt, Dior sunglasses, Gucci shoes, Svelte Metals cuffs

Joe's Jeans jacket, Levi's jeans, Aritzia shirt, Dior sunglasses, Gucci shoes, Svelte Metals cuffs

For your information, I just ate an entire meal of baby food. And by baby food I don't mean the Honest Company's pouch of minced filet mignon with baby carrots and rosemary in a beurre blanc cream sauce. No, I mean food my baby spit out and minced with her teeth. Becoming a parent, I understood the poo situations that I would be put in, and honestly I didn't mind it too much. What I had not come to terms with were having to cup my hands so she could vomit into them and being so lazy that I would rather just eat whatever came out of her mouth than getting up to throw it away. And by anything, I mean ANYTHING. Cheddar cheese, strawberries, rice that she spit out AND stepped on, pho, melon, raisins, chicken...and on and on and on. She's even wiped ice cream on my hand and when there's no napkin, you guessed it-I just lick it off. I lick it off!! I lick off the ice cream that SHE licked and then wiped onto me. So, next time we have lunch together you know I can't be acting like a foodie, heck you could probably offer me the gum off of your shoes and I would have nowhere to go. #lookwhatyoumademedo #Cocomademedoit  

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Svelte Metals cuffs

Svelte Metals cuffs

Gucci shoes

Gucci shoes

Changes

Aritzia duster jacket, Citizens of Humanity jeans, Club Monaco top, Fendi Sunglasses, Zara shoes, Svelte Metals cuffs

Aritzia duster jacket, Citizens of Humanity jeans, Club Monaco top, Fendi Sunglasses, Zara shoes, Svelte Metals cuffs

Since moving officially into my "late" thirties, I've been going through "the change." Not menopause, which is the "it's over change" but the change where I can't go to a bar and look 22 and still be carded like I'm 19.  Now I go to a bar, and I look 28 and I'm not carded at all! When did a spicy young gal like me start looking almost thirty. When did I start saying the words "young gal?" I walked into my neighborhood Tender Greens for my weekly salad and the guy told me he didn't recognize me...wait for it...without my baby stroller. Excuse you, I COULD be the baby's young nanny, or her very hip aunt. To top it off, a few months ago I went to Safeway alone, in a silk dress and scrappy sandals and the young college aged bag boy told me "Happy Mother's Day." First of all, how dare you! Second, I was alone and wore scrappy sandals, how can I possibly look old enough to have a child?! I wonder what it was that made me just drip of maturity. Whatever it is, I'm fighting back with my long nails and crazy sunglasses and shorter skirts. Unrelated, please forward to me anything about early phases of becoming a cougar and early mid-life crises. #howcougarsaremade