 It’s that time again, when I call out JCrew for selling something unbelievably ugly for an unbelievably uglier price. Some of you may have grown tired of my attempts at single-handedly bringing down JCrew. But, I don’t care, and I will continue my ridiculous crusade until JCrew stops charging $1,800.00 for dresses like the above. First of all this is a leather dress with sparkles all over it. Why in God’s name any person would decide to bedazzle leather is beyond me. I mean, if it would be cheaper to just bedazzle regular cotton, lets go with that, because you’ve just sucked all the fun out of leather anyways. Second, the girl is wearing sandals with her $1,800.00 leather sparkle dress!! Come on! If’ I’m wearing $1,800.00 worth of dress on me, I better not be wearing it with sandals to the freakin beach! To the JCrew designer, I challenge you. I challenge you to design a dress that is cute–cute and worthy of $1,800.00. This means that there cannot be thousands of pleats, rosettes, or ruffles and must be event appropriate. In other words, you can’t charge $1,800.00 for a beach dress made of animal skin and plastic sparkles, because it’s inappropriate and ugly. I understand everyone agrees with me, but nobody wants to stand with me because they can’t give up those damn cardigans and gold flip-flops. Neither can I; I own both. But still, Down with JCrew!
  It. Has. Happened. The two best things in the entire world have come together: jeans and leggings! I don’t know even know how we could have lived so long without jeggings. I mean the coolness of jeans with the comfort of leggings–simply amazing. Sure, many people wonder what the difference is between jeggings and skinny jeans, and that answer is quite simple: umm, jeggings are way tighter of course. Haven’t you ever wished that your skinny jeans could be just a little tighter so that it could wrap your leg up like a little sausage? Well, dream no more, because it has happened. Go grab a pair and tell me that your legs do not look absolutely awesome after squeezing them into jeggings. Long live jeggings!
  As we all know, love it or dread it, Valentine’s Day is coming up. This means that idiot guys everywhere will be asking me or their girl source, what to buy their special gals. And because boys are stupid, they will not know that all they need to do is buy something–ANYTHING from Tiffany’s to make his girl happy. But, if you guys or girls want to get something a little different than the typical Tiffany’s floating heart this year (which I have received, and works like a charm, btw) than you should look at the new Rachel Roy/Estelle line of jewelry. This line features this amazing gold flower ring that fits over the full finger for some major hotness; and also this gold earcuff–which granted is a little weird, but is also edgy and pretty at the same time. Plus, the line is pretty affordable at $50-$100 for each item and is super exclusive since you can only buy these items on their facebook site until February 11, 2010. Everyone loves an elitist, so get it while it’s hot!
  Cross-body bags are suddenly all the rage. It’s like, all of a sudden, everyone is “on the go” and can’t even hold on to their purses, so they have to strap a bag all around their bodies. Personally, I’m not a fan, however, like so many things that are roach, cross-body bags are comfortable. Therefore, if I have embraced UGGs, I might as well have a comfortable bag that matches to maximize my comfy-ness. This Tory Burch fringe bag and this Marc Jacobs black cross-body bag says comfort, but they also TRY to be cute, which I appreciate. So at the very least you’re just dying a slow fashion death, instead of a fast one.
 I know that it doesn’t look like it, but this is a dress. A huge, grungy, denim, patched-up dress from Topshop. I don’t know what YOU think this says about fashion, but this tells ME that we are now embracing clothes people wear working at the gas station as “fashionable.” No. Unacceptable. This “it’s so ugly that it’s cool” is seriously getting old because sometimes, “it’s so ugly that it’s ugly.” Much like this dress from Topshop. And to top it off, you just need to shell out $125 to get it!! Really? Really Topshop? You’re trying to pass this wretched, fat man’s dirty shirt as rocker chic? And forcing us to pay more than the energy to dig it out of that man’s garbage for it? In-credible; Topshop has some balls because I never thought that denim could insult me like that. But it does, because only a fashion idiot would wear this thinking they can pull it off. Trust me, you can’t. Nobody can. The roachness of this dress is way too overwhelming. So let the denim shirtdress with its patches die a long and horrible death at one of those Earth Day festivals, where this shirt will eventually end up getting stolen by a bum.
  If you like Boho, then you are going to love this new Louis Vuitton Artsy bag. With this amazing new bag, Louis Vuitton has transformed the typical ratty Urban Outfitters Boho chick, with her headbands and drapey shirts into a Boho hot chick who paid $1,400.00 on an LV. Sure, it goes against being Boho, but a girl can’t live off of hemp and saddle bags forever. It’s new, its huge, and it’s hot!
|
|
Popular