High Waisted Pants: The New Mom Jeans

It’s high time to address a new fashion problem, the high-wasted pants. I’ve been on hiatus long enough, and nothing could have scared me back more than high wasted pants. Sometimes they have buttons, sometimes they have zippers, either way they’re always roach. It’s as though moms throughout America have somehow permeated into the deep depths of fashion and have convinced Dior and Dolce that Mom Jeans with white Keds are sexy. Sexy they are not. I understand that women don’t want their muffin tops to be spilling out of the tops of their pants; but the solution to this problem should be to stop eating like a hungry hungry hippo, not turn to Urkel Pants. So, if you decide to turn to “fat clothes” and wear high wasted jeans; that’s cool…but please don’t try to convince pretty, skinny people that they’re cute. And while you’re at it, don’t try to convince us that overalls are cute either…eeks.