Stop the Madness!

I have decided that I want to single-handedly bring down J.Crew for emotionally manipulating the public into believing that they are allowed to charge high fashion prices for Gap clothes. This jacket is $2000. Yes, yet another roach jacket from J.Crew for 2G’s. It’s “hand-combed” Italian cashmere. Like me, you probably don’t care if this cashmere is from Italy, or that it is hand-combed. I wouldn’t even care if the hairs of the jacket were hand sheared by an Italian woman from the arms and legs of babies, nobody should pay $2000 for this jacket or anything else from J.Crew. I don’t know where J.Crew has the balls to set these prices. It’s like they think they’re Prada except with cardigans and baby tees. So I ask you to stop the madness, and stop buying J.Crew! Go down five stores to a place called Gap, where jackets are mass-made and cost $39.99. Now, I know that this rant has less to do with fashion and more to do with my maniacal plan to rebel against J.Crew and so I will remedy that with one of my beloved fashion inside tips: Wear fake eyelashes when you party because they are the source of all my power, and if you don’t wear them, then get DiorShow mascara by Dior–it’s the best thing to come in a tube, for your eyes, pretty much ever.